one two three fourrrrnication!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
