Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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