I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
