Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
