I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
