So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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