Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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