I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize