Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
