They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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