all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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