I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
