can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
