You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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