my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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