this beer tastes like vomit already
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
