Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
how does that bad decision feel?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
