i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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