i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Someone came in the potted fern
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
