I am puke
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
