I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Even my vagina gasped.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
