My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
