its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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