he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
