You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So squirting runs in the family.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
