help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize