honey bunches of taint.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
