Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
