Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
