i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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