mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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