when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
