We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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