yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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