Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sorry about my life...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
