she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
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Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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