oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize