Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
