My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
