That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
