Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The uberlube is also flammable
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
