i think my tv is drunk
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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