Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
