walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
