Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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