the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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