drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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