i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
