is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
