you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
