if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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