i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
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I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
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Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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