youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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