No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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