this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize