I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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