Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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