I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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