So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
