sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
