A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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