Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think my moral compass just broke
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
