U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
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she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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