I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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