how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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