Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
