Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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