As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
