Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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