its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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